Additional Confirmation

While looking for baby pictures on an external hard drive to celebrate my daughters 13th birthday, Sept. 16, insha'Allah, I came across a marriage exercise that I created for my husband and I to complete on Aug. 22, 2006!!!  In the document at the end, in BOLD, RED letters, I wrote, "PS - I will use this in the book that I write later in life.  So, I am open to constructive criticism."  WELL I would say that 10 years later is later in life LOL!!! 

#EvenMoreConfirmationThatIAmFollowingGdsWillForMyLife

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Al-Amin!!! All the Praise & Thanks are due to the Lord of the all the Systems of Knowledge!!!

G'd gave me a mighty test and now I am giving what I pray will be a helpful testimony!!! 

Insha'Allah ... AMEEN - G'd is with those who Believe, have Faith, & put their Trust in Him!!!

#Writing4Peace #MuslimMarriageMakeover
#ModelingMuhammadTheProphet
#TheRIPPLEeffect
#Respect
#Intimacy
#Partnership
#Peace
#Love
#Equality

Moving Forward with Faith Not Fear

As I prepare to announce the "Release Date" for my debut book later today G-d Willing, I am in the process of adding my "Writing 4 Peace Blog" from 2009 to my "Writing 4 Peace" Website.  As I look back on the many posts that I "Saved as Drafts" starting in 2009 continuing into 2011, 2012, and 2014, I realize that one thing is certain, my message has been consistent.  I have always had a strong desire to share information that will help myself and others to successfully navigate and overcome the tests and challenges of marriage and motherhood.  

Although many posts were never shared, looking back at them, it is as if I had written them today - on the eve of announcing the "Release Date" for MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER: Modeling Muhammad the Prophet to Make Waves in Your Marriage with the R.I.P.P.L.E. Effect.

 

Often I saved my blog posts as drafts because I was paralyzed by the "fear" of what others would think.  However, G-d encourages us not fear the criticism of those who criticize.  So this time, I MOVE FORWARD WITH FAITH NOT FEAR.  I received a very timely e-mail message in my inbox this morning entitled "The Paradox of the Flawless Record".

In it the author says:

If your work has never been criticized, it's unlikely you have any work.

Creating work is the point, though, which means that in order to do something that matters, you're going to be criticized.

If your goal is to be universally liked and respected and understood, then, it must mean your goal is to not do something that matters.

Which requires hiding.

Hiding, of course, isn't the point.

Hence the paradox. You don't want to be criticized and you do want to matter.

The solution: Create work that gets criticized. AND, have the discernment to tell the difference between useful criticism (rare and precious) and the stuff worth ignoring (everything else).

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2016/09/the-paradox-of-the-flawless-record.html

Whether it's parenting, "Writing 4 Peace", OR being an advocate for social justice, there will always be those who criticize "your" G-d given work.  So  move forward anyway ... with Faith not fear ... silence the voice of others so that you may hear, internalize, accept and act upon the Guidance of G-d.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

~Marianne Williamson

This time, I'm ready!!!  Are you ready?

#Forward

#Writing4Peace

#FaithOverFear

#MuslimMarriageMakeover

#MakeThatChange

A Moment in Time: Giving Yourself Permission to Breathe

It's been almost 4 years since I've posted but I feel compelled to write ... This one comes to me from November 16, 2014 ... many written but never posted :-)  That's my M.O. but G-d willing all that will change very soon.  Why must we give ourselves permission to breathe?  Why does it feel foreign or strange to just be?  To just sit?   To just be still?  Why must we give ourselves permission to breathe?  Why do we feel guilty if we sit and do absolutely nothing?  Why do we feel as if something is wrong if we just sit and breathe?  Why does it feel strange and out of the ordinary?  Why do we feel incomplete if we STOP to nurture ourselves?  Why does sitting still for just a moment in time feel wrong when actually our bodies have rights - and this - this STOPPING - this breathing - it's right ...

Because sometimes we as mothers find ourselves overly consumed with doing.  Oftentimes to the neglect of our own selves.  Often to the point where we are moving day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, trying to get it all done, trying to hold it all together, giving ourselves burdens that we were not meant to bear.  After all, it takes a village.  And down time is priceless.  Sometimes we just need to be still - mind, body and soul.  Sometimes we just need to sit in silence.  Sometimes we need to just sit in peace.  Sometimes we need to say "Please be still".

But other people's judgments and unrealistic expectations reign supreme and take hold and take over.  And we always feel like we don't have time to breathe because there is too much work to be done.  And we own it all by any means necessary.  Even if it causes us pain, we own it all.  Even if it means that our muscles are permanently contracted, we own it all.  To the extent that we have to learn to let go and breathe again.  An act that was once natural, innate, automatic and unconscious now becomes another task on our to-do list - something else that we have to learn, something else that we have to facilitate and regulate - another chore.  Another battle that we have to endure that we may or may not win.  ENOUGH!  Breathe.  Relax.  Relate.  Release.  And make no excuses and give no apologies for it.  You are enough.  Your job is enough and you deserve to live.  You deserve to breathe.  You do not have permission to make yourself mediocre by cutting off your own oxygen supply.  Take time for you and make no apologies.  Give yourself permission to breathe.

"But for the Grace of G-d ..."

I've got something on my heart that I need to release. In my short life, I have learned that we hurt each other - with our words - our vain and idle talk, our gossip, our backbiting - constantly standing in judgement of one another. The human heart - it hurts. If you have a sincere and conscious heart, then correct, help, assist, and speak out with love and sincerity not enmity. G-d says, "Do you think you can say you believe and not be tested?" Rather than kick your brother or sister while they are down enduring the trials and tribulations that we all must one day come to endure, encourage him or her to "overcome obstacles with excellence."

My faith tradition tells me the best of us are are those who are of service, help, aid, assistance, and support to others - whether it be with a radiant smile, an uplifting and encouraging word, a kind heart, or a generous hand. Live and love in a space of ALWAYS being ready and able to show gratitude - being ready and able to re-pay your debt to G-d knowing ... but for the Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness & Protection of G-d, there go I ...

Just speaking from the heart and praying that my own words resonate within my own soul.

AMEEN - G'd is with those who Believe, have Faith and put their complete Trust in Him.

Record the Story ...

Be Not Afraid - To Put Yourself First

Imagine being a fire woman and getting a call to the station that a fire is burning with a family inside - a mom, a dad and 2 children. Your first thought is to make the selfless decision to get to the fire as fast as you can to save this family. In order to save time and to make this rescue happen as quickly as possible, you make the conscious decision to enter the burning fire to save their lives with no protective gear, no gas mask, nothing that is fire retardant, nothing that repels or protects your body from being burned by the flames. You selflessly leave the station as quickly as possible, not taking the time to "gear-up", risking yourself and your life to save the lives of others.

This is the equivalent of being a mom who selflessly sacrifices herself for the sake of her kids and family. A woman who gives and gives to the point of neglecting herself does so with the BEST intentions - to provide the best love, support, education, comfort and nourishment that her children and family need. She somehow feels empowered when she feels that she is sacrificing her needs, wants and desires so that her children and family can flourish and have their needs met. However, just as the above scenario indicates, in all likelihood at some point, the mom is going to get burned or rather burnt-out (no pun intended).

The person entering the fire may save a few lives, but unprotected themselves, eventually they can no longer withstand the harsh conditions and may possibly suffocate from smoke inhalation, get burned, or be unable to save themselves and the lives of others. A mother who gives endlessly without giving to self as well, will eventually suffer from exhaustion, lack of optimal health and happiness and possibly anger, depression and resentment.

Had the person who entered the fire taken a few moments to protect themselves first, the outcome may have been different. They may have had the protection needed to save 2 lives instead of 1, 3 lives instead of 2. They may have had the protection and endurance needed to make it out alive. In the proper gear, they could have breathed a little longer, withstood the heat and the flames a little longer because they consciously chose to protect themselves first.

Likewise, if we as mothers find balance in being selfless and selfish we too can save ourselves, our children and our families. When we consciously choose to put ourselves first (with the unspoken understanding that G-d is ALWAYS first priority in our lives), we are consciously choosing to save 2 children instead of 1, 3 children instead of 2. When we spend on our own souls/selves, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and yes even financially, we are consciously choosing and acknowledging the inherent value and power in having high quality interactions with our kids and family.

At times, moms may neglect self to focus on the quantity of time that is spent with kids and family. However, if the quantity of time is not fully embraced with quality, then we selfishly cause deterioration of invaluable relationships with ourselves, spouse, children and others. Fatigue, exhaustion, lack of patience and lack of fulfillment can creep into our lives and create a space of chaos and negativity rather than the peace, happiness, contentment and tranquility that we all seek and desire.

So I challenge all moms, myself definitely included - be not afraid to put yourself, your health and your happiness first. It may not always be the easiest thing to facilitate, but make yourself and your survival, your personal nurturing and self-fulfillment a VERY important priority in your life. Your true strength literally and figuratively, is found in your mutual selflessness and selfishness. It takes great courage and strength, for me anyways, to not feel guilty about not giving all of myself to my kids and family. (Positive self-talk: Tell yourself, I am a pretty fabulous person myself and I deserve to have a quality piece of me as well.)

Think of a rested, healthier, happier you. Imagine all the lives that you can enhance and save, including your own, when you are at your best. Rest, Recuperation, Rejuvenation - make these 3 Rs a Regular Routine in your daily life and the ripple effects will be profound. Be not afraid ...

A Mother's Conversation With Herself

"I am tired today.  My body is tired.  My back is tired.  I am tired.  I need rest.  I need sleep.  I need free time.  I need peace.  I need me.  I can feel that I am operating in superwoman mode - where you give despite having nothing left to give.

I pull from deep within and find the strength from somewhere ... from somewhere ... from somewhere deep within.

Mind over matter.  Mind over reality.

My reality says that I must heal.  My reality says that I must go deep within myself to rest, to rest to heal, to heal to rest.

The spirit within me says that I must fight for my children.  That I must  find a way to expose them to new opportunities, to new places, to new experiences despite being worn down, despite being tired, despite being physically weak.

I am mentally strong and this mental strength propels me forward despite needing to rest, despite needing to care for myself.  Despite needing to heal, despite needing new energy.  Despite needing quiet, peaceful solitude.

I am here ... listening to the drums of my ancestors, listening to the sounds of my ancestors, listening to the Heartprints of Harriet Tubman, listening to the Heartprints of Sojourner Truth, listening to the Heartprints of My Mother, listening to the Heartprints of Me."

Ameen - G-d is with those who Believe, have Faith, and put their Trust in Him.