"Islam Is Peace" by Luqman S. Rasheed, III (Our Sun)

After completing his reading assignment from his dad, a portion of Islam: The Religion of Peace by Imam W. Deen Mohammed, our 1st son, Luqman III, took notes and then had a discussion with his dad before he left for work this morning.  Later in the day, being the writer that I am, LOL, I asked him to write a brief summary of what he had read including his recollections, thoughts and comments and this is what he produced!

Luqman S. Rasheed, III (2nd born, 1st son)

"Islam is Peace. Islam wants peace for the community and individuals. If you are a Muslim, you want peace for yourself, your family, and your community. One reason Islam is peace is because our greeting means peace.  If you are at peace, you don't feed anger. Having peace in a community can be working together and helping each other. Peace in a family can be no fighting or yelling. Getting along in general is peace. So strive to be peaceful and the people around you will feel peace too."

Short and sweet but direct and to the point!!! As Muslims we are ALWAYS encouraged to speak a word directed to the right!!! Baby boy has spoken!!!

#Writing4Peace
#TheRIPPLEeffect
#Peace
#Passion
#Purpose
#FutureLeaders

Mending Broken "FENCES" - Movie Review, Book Connections & Reflection

I had the opportunity to see the movie FENCES over the winter break with a dear Sista-Friend. We both loved the movie!!! It was emotionally heartbreaking and gut-wrenching in many ways. There were so many times when I could see the intentions of the father (Denzel), but felt that they were poorly executed because of a lack of sensitivity, "feeling" and compassion on behalf of the father which then created hurt, anger, and resentment within the son. I speak about the need for emotional balance in my book, MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER. I present what G-d says in this regard - that the very definition of being human means to be loving and sociable so this obligation is for BOTH men and women, not just women and we know that Muhammad the Prophet was affectionate, patient and loving towards his children. So, G-d's Word + His Model help us to see how we should be and improving based upon this is ALWAYS a work in progress, at least for me.

Of course the "unenlightened" treatment of women was very prevalent in the movie as well. Yet another issue that I address in the book and offer faith-based solutions to. I thought it was excellent that Denzel's character was juxtaposed to the character whom he met in prison (can't remember the name). One met life's challenges and disappointments by stepping out on his wife and the other met them by taking the moral high ground, improving, and staying faithful, true, and committed no matter what. He was a good man and made no excuses not to be to his devoted wife and family. I agree that we repeat a lot of unpleasant habits and "traditions" from our past unconsciously and even consciously and I wholeheartedly agree that we have to hold ourselves accountable to learn more and strive with all our might to do better insha'Allah (G-d Willing) after we've been given a better understanding as Allah (G-d) forgives mistakes/errors done in ignorance. Sometimes we just don't know any better so we don't change, but when we know better, we have to earnestly pray and strive to do and be better insha'Allah. As I say and offer in the book, education and enlightenment on many universal/common issues are the tools that we need to address "Unenlightened Traditions" in order to cultivate healthier marriages, families and communities. G-d Willing this is the hope and help that Allah has Blessed me to offer to the world.

Purchase your copy of MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER today!!!

https://www.amazon.com/Muslim.../dp/0998336106/ref=sr_1_1 

OR 

http://www.writing4peace.com/

 Let's spread the message of hope and healing 
fueled by "enlightened" change! 

#MendingBrokenFences

#MuslimMarriageMakeover

#ImprovingMarriageAndFamilyTraditions

#ModelingMuhammadTheProphet

#TheRIPPLEeffect

#RespectIntimacyPartnershipPeaceLoveEquality

Personal Reflections on HIDDEN FIGURES

With G-d's Name, The Merciful Benefactor, The Merciful Redeemer

"Behind every great man is a great woman" is not just a cliche.'  These are the facts of life, both literally and figuratively.  As I reflect on HIDDEN FIGURES, which I viewed in the theater a couple of nights ago with my friend and our daughters, I am once again reminded that we, African-American women, are deeply rooted. I made so many real-life, personal connections to the re-telling of a story that is rooted in historical facts and figures.  Like the main character, Katherine Johnson, I too showed an early affinity for mathematics and excelled in this area and I thank Allah that our daughter Sajdah is doing the same.  

Centered, me, Aqueelah Rasheed, with my daughter Sajdah Shaheedah Rasheed.
Far left, my friend April Abdul-BaaQee and far right, her daughter, my namesake Aaqila Abdul-BaaQee.

There were 3 African-American, females who greatly influenced my desire to major in Mathematics: my mother, my first teacher, who taught me to read and write BEFORE I went to school.  She was my first exposure to schooling and education and she planted within me the desire to teach. My instructors for pre-Algebra, Algebra I & Alegbra II were 2 African-American females - Ms. Ousley, 7th grade and Ms. Newby, 8th & 9th grade. These ladies were my models of what I could do, what I could be and what I would eventually become. A lover of mathematics! While in junior high school, I marveled over these AMAZING African-American women, teachers, scholars and their brilliance, their intellect and their aptitude and love for everything mathematics! I went on to major in Mathematics at Duke University and at one point, prior to starting my family, I briefly taught 7th grade math.  

After graduating college, I worked as a Consultant and Delivery Support Specialist for IBM, yet another personal connection to HIDDEN FIGURES. Dorothy Vaughn, who is also depicted in the movie, was a mathematician and became independently proficient at computer coding and learned to successfully operate one the IBM mainframes at NASA. She then shared this knowledge with the other African-American females in her division. She would eventually  become the 1st African-American manager of the Division at NASA that housed the  IBM mainframes - a remarkable feat given the racial climate of those times. 

After graduating I also married an Electrical Engineer. Needless to say, we both possess mathematical minds and as mentioned earlier, the fruit does not fall too far from the tree.  Our eldest child, our one and only daughter, Sajdah, currently in 8th grade, is literally "A"cing High School Math I, all the Praise and Thanks are due to G-d.  So, she is deeply rooted and her 2 younger brothers are rooted alongside her as well. This is her/their ancestry.  This is her/their legacy.  This is where SHE comes from and what SHE is made of.  As clearly shown in HIDDEN FIGURES and in my real-life experience, it is a myth that African-American females struggle with mathematics.  Two of the most influential women in my "middle years" of adolescence were African-American, female, mathematicians who, along with my mother, molded and shaped my mind and evolved my G-d given aspirations.  

NASA's "HIDDEN FIGURES"
Far left - Dorothy Vaughn (Mathematician & NASA's 1st African-American Supervisor)
Center - Mary Jackson (Mathematician & NASA's 1st African-American, Female, Aerospace Engineer for NASA)
Far right - Katherine Johnson (1st African-American Physicist & Mathematician for NASA to compute the flight trajectories for several NASA missions including those of John Glen, Alan Shepard, and the 1969 Apollo 11 flight to the moon)

Today and everyday, I give honor and pay homage to these women and countless others like Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughn, the true mathematical minds "BEHIND the missions" at NASA as shown in HIDDEN FIGURES. I stand on the shoulders of giants including the young, African-American, author Margot Lee Shetterly who begin researching and writing her debut book, HIDDEN FIGURES, in 2010. I am now an author and I am reminded again that this natural progression in my life is a "Literary Equation!" All knowledge is connected and this reminder is what I value most about this movie and my experience as a math major - the reminder that G-d is "the Cherisher and Sustainer of all the Systems of Knowledge" - not man. He bestows wisdom upon whom He chooses regardless of race, religion, gender, socio-economic status or stereotypes. We all have equal potential to achieve and express "astronomical" intellectual and academic success. 

Katherine Johnson, African-American Physicist and Mathematician for NASA

As a mathematician, I understand the pure and purposeful passion for mathematics even in the face of racism as depicted in HIDDEN FIGURES.  Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughn were undaunted in their intellectual, collective and professional pursuits while at NASA amongst a sea of "others" who did not value their worth or deem them equal simply due to the color of their skin. The mathematical computations of Katherine Johnson put US, literally the U.S., into space and eventually on the moon as well.  Ironically my favorite course as an undergrad was "mathematical biology."  Let's just say that I LOVED it because it all made good, practical, USEFUL sense! Math was no longer just exciting, yet abstract strings of formulas, computations and equations, but rather mathematics was a tool that could be used to scientifically extract potential cures for cancer and other diseases.   

NASA's AMAZING Mathematicians & Engineers
Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson & Dorothy Vaughn

Equally important we see that Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughn held firmly to the belief and exemplified in their actions that not one of us rises or excels unless we ALL rise and excel. They truly wanted for their sister what they wanted for themselves and they always supported, encouraged, and uplifted one another - TRUE sisterhood and womanhood. They understood the meaning behind G-d's words "To each is a goal to which G-d turns him; then strive together (as in a relay race helping each other) towards all that is good. Wherever you are, G-d will bring you together. For G-d has power over all things." (Holy Qur'an 2:148).  

Our dear, beloved leader and teacher Imam W. Deen Mohammed gave us his tafsir or commentary that helps us to see that this striving as in a race is COLLECTIVE, not competitive.  A relay race implies that each individual person plays a very crucial, unique and significant role in attaining the victory, in getting to the finish line of collective community achievement, not separately, but together.  If we are to get there, to where G-d's desires for us to be as a community of people, then we must go back to our roots and do it collectively by pooling our resources, sharing our knowledge, wisdom, insights and expertise with one another to REBUILD the model community that existed right here in America within the womb of the Nation of Islam - schools, banks, businesses, farms, restaurants, etc, etc. It is time for our past, present and future "HIDDEN FIGURES" to arise within our hearts, minds and souls to be seen. "Humankind can have nothing but what he strives for. The fruit of his striving will soon come into full sight. Then he will be rewarded with full compensation." (Holy Qur'an 53: 39-41). 

Katherine Johnson receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom
from President Barack Obama at Age 97

I think it is beautiful and befitting how Allah made manifest the significant, world-changing, achievements of the "Sistas" in HIDDEN FIGURES at just the right time! Nothing of good can ever remain buried under the guise of obscurity. The truth will ALWAYS arise from the depths of darkness in the LIGHT! AMEEN - G'd is with those who Believe, have Faith and put their Trust in Him!

Reflection on "MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER"

Happy Birthday to Imam W. Deen Mohammed!!!

While in the midst of working on my G-d given mission, I had to write the date and it dawned on me that TODAY is our Beloved Leader & Teacher's Birthday!!!  Imam Warithuddeen Mohammad came into the world on October 30, 1933 and for that I am so very grateful!!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER IMAM!!!  We love and miss you BUT we are moving FORWARD with your G-d given Vision, Mission, & Wisdom!!!  I pray that we make you proud!!!

These pictures were taken during one of his many visits to Durham, NC that were facilitated by our beloved Imam Abdul-hafeez Waheed!!!  We were at First Presbyterian Church.  Felecia Griffin & Luqman Rasheed THANK YOU for taking these pictures of us with the Imam!!! Deep gratitude for capturing these moments!!!

#StudentsOfImamWDM

#TheDaysOfDisposableCameras LOL!!!

A Life Well Lived, A Life Well Loved

Today, as the community collectively offers Janazah Prayer for and pays tribute to Imam Ibrahim Pasha of Atlanta, GA, our hearts are full and we are grateful for his life of service and sacrifice ... From Allah we come and to G-d is our return ... May G-d have Mercy upon his soul, grant him forgiveness, make his grave spacious and grant him entrance into Paradise ...

"(To the Righteous soul will be said) 'O soul in complete rest and satisfaction, return to yout Lord pleased with yourself and pleasing unto G-d, enter among My servants (My workers, My devotees) enter my Paradise!'" (Holy Qur'an 89: 27-30)

May his wife and family continue to be surrounded and comforted by the Love of G'd, Family & Community.

AMEEN - G'd is with those who Believe, have Faith, & put their Trust in Him!

#GoneButNotForgotten

#ALifeWellLivedALifeWellLoved

MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER: A "Literary Equation" - One Band, One Sound

Last weekend when the menfolk stepped out, my husband Luqman and our 2 sons, Sajdah and I finally had some alone time ... just mother and daughter.  So we were talking - sharing and talking, talking and sharing.  At some point she went to get her clarinet and she began to share with me an observation that she had made earlier in the week during band at school.  She was telling & showing me that during rehearsal, a piece on her clarinet had come loose.  She made the observation that ONE particular piece being dislocated on her clarinet had altered the sound of ALL the other notes on the clarinet.  But once the piece was firmly back in place, everything was back to normal.  I of course smiled inside my heart and outwardly with my lips as she related this story to me.  

I was instantly taken in my mind to a saying of Muhammad the Prophet (PBUH). There are various translations for this particular saying but here is one: "The Believers in their affection, compassion, and love for one another is like one single body.  If a part of it suffers from pain, the whole body will suffer in pain."  So, I immediately shared this analogy with Sajdah so that she could also make the connection between what happened with her instrument and what happens in real life not just with the individual human body, but with the human family and the human community!  G-d says: "On earth there are signs for those with sure faith and in yourselves too.  Do you not see?" (Holy Qur'an 50: 20-21)

And THIS is the reason why G-d has moved me to write "MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER: Modeling Muhammad the Prophet to Make Waves in Your Marriage with the R.I.P.P.L.E. Effect" (Respect, Intimacy, Partnership, Peace, Love, & Equality). Even as a young child, my sensitivities were directed towards the preservation of family life.  Inspired by personal family experiences, at the age of 13, I coined a speech on "Broken Homes" which I subsequently delivered in oratorical competitions including ACT-SO (Afro-Academic, Cultural, Technological and Scientific Olympics) sponsored by the NAACP.  After winning at the City Level, I was mentored in public speaking by the renowned Civil Rights Activist Julian Bond to prepare me for the competition at the State Level.  And so my journey towards speaking out about preserving families began and after 15 years of marriage, this journey has come full circle.

I am an advocate for the preservation of healthy marriages, families, and communities.  I see communities as a group of healthy families, marriages, and individuals that are "banded" together as one, helping each other as in a relay race, striving together towards all that is good.  In the movie Drumline, one of my FAVORITE movies, the main character has to learn that even though he is GREAT as an individual musician, when the entire band is on the field, the motto is "ONE BAND, ONE SOUND."  If one individual is trying to steal the show or if one section is off key, this dysfunction disturbs the inherent UNITY of the BAND.

This principle of "One Band, One Sound" is the same that is present in the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) about the "band" of Believers - that in terms of affection, compassion and love, if one body of a Believer aches then the whole body of the Believers aches.  The same holds true for marriages in community - if one marriage or family aches, then all families and marriages in the community ache.  This simply means that we should all be concerned about the condition and longevity of ALL marriages and families, past, present and future.  They are the foundation upon which model communities are built.  This simply means that we should want and desire for our brothers and sisters what we want and desire for ourselves.  It's no coincidence that the development of mathematical and musical abilities are in the same portion of the brain.  As a math major, I have concluded that this "formula" of care and concern for one another is also the "solution" for establishing healthy, productive and happy marriages, families, and communities.

Our beloved spiritual leader and teacher Imam W. Deen Mohammed has said, "In your education, your schooling, the academic world tells you that the family is the first unit of society and this is what we have lost, family.  This problem is not germane to any one group.  It has taken over all people and all religions.  All religions are suffering the corruption of the family."

As I merge my degree and passion for mathematics with my passion for using my writings to help build, heal, and sustain healthy marriages, as a Duke administrator recently expressed to me, "This is a Literary Equation!"

"MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER" is a solution-oriented book that is sure to do just that - help to build, heal, and sustain healthy marriages, families and communties!!! While the book itself is universal in its application, it uses faith-based strategies from the Qur'an, the authentic life example of Muhammad the Prophet (PBUH) and the commentary of my spiritual leader and teacher Imam W. Deen Mohammed to address common marital issues such as: the treatment of women, gender stereotypes, distribution of household labor, work-life balance, and the rearing of children.  These issues transcend race, religion, socio-economic status, & spiritual and educational achievement.  

You can PRE-ORDER my debut book "MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER" for a discounted price for a limited time on my website www.writing4peace.com

Let's make waves TOGETHER with the R.I.P.P.L.E Effect!!!

#MuslimMarriageMakeover
#OneBandOneSound
#Unity
#Cohesion

Additional Confirmation

While looking for baby pictures on an external hard drive to celebrate my daughters 13th birthday, Sept. 16, insha'Allah, I came across a marriage exercise that I created for my husband and I to complete on Aug. 22, 2006!!!  In the document at the end, in BOLD, RED letters, I wrote, "PS - I will use this in the book that I write later in life.  So, I am open to constructive criticism."  WELL I would say that 10 years later is later in life LOL!!! 

#EvenMoreConfirmationThatIAmFollowingGdsWillForMyLife

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Al-Amin!!! All the Praise & Thanks are due to the Lord of the all the Systems of Knowledge!!!

G'd gave me a mighty test and now I am giving what I pray will be a helpful testimony!!! 

Insha'Allah ... AMEEN - G'd is with those who Believe, have Faith, & put their Trust in Him!!!

#Writing4Peace #MuslimMarriageMakeover
#ModelingMuhammadTheProphet
#TheRIPPLEeffect
#Respect
#Intimacy
#Partnership
#Peace
#Love
#Equality

Moving Forward with Faith Not Fear

As I prepare to announce the "Release Date" for my debut book later today G-d Willing, I am in the process of adding my "Writing 4 Peace Blog" from 2009 to my "Writing 4 Peace" Website.  As I look back on the many posts that I "Saved as Drafts" starting in 2009 continuing into 2011, 2012, and 2014, I realize that one thing is certain, my message has been consistent.  I have always had a strong desire to share information that will help myself and others to successfully navigate and overcome the tests and challenges of marriage and motherhood.  

Although many posts were never shared, looking back at them, it is as if I had written them today - on the eve of announcing the "Release Date" for MUSLIM MARRIAGE MAKEOVER: Modeling Muhammad the Prophet to Make Waves in Your Marriage with the R.I.P.P.L.E. Effect.

 

Often I saved my blog posts as drafts because I was paralyzed by the "fear" of what others would think.  However, G-d encourages us not fear the criticism of those who criticize.  So this time, I MOVE FORWARD WITH FAITH NOT FEAR.  I received a very timely e-mail message in my inbox this morning entitled "The Paradox of the Flawless Record".

In it the author says:

If your work has never been criticized, it's unlikely you have any work.

Creating work is the point, though, which means that in order to do something that matters, you're going to be criticized.

If your goal is to be universally liked and respected and understood, then, it must mean your goal is to not do something that matters.

Which requires hiding.

Hiding, of course, isn't the point.

Hence the paradox. You don't want to be criticized and you do want to matter.

The solution: Create work that gets criticized. AND, have the discernment to tell the difference between useful criticism (rare and precious) and the stuff worth ignoring (everything else).

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2016/09/the-paradox-of-the-flawless-record.html

Whether it's parenting, "Writing 4 Peace", OR being an advocate for social justice, there will always be those who criticize "your" G-d given work.  So  move forward anyway ... with Faith not fear ... silence the voice of others so that you may hear, internalize, accept and act upon the Guidance of G-d.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

~Marianne Williamson

This time, I'm ready!!!  Are you ready?

#Forward

#Writing4Peace

#FaithOverFear

#MuslimMarriageMakeover

#MakeThatChange

A Moment in Time: Giving Yourself Permission to Breathe

It's been almost 4 years since I've posted but I feel compelled to write ... This one comes to me from November 16, 2014 ... many written but never posted :-)  That's my M.O. but G-d willing all that will change very soon.  Why must we give ourselves permission to breathe?  Why does it feel foreign or strange to just be?  To just sit?   To just be still?  Why must we give ourselves permission to breathe?  Why do we feel guilty if we sit and do absolutely nothing?  Why do we feel as if something is wrong if we just sit and breathe?  Why does it feel strange and out of the ordinary?  Why do we feel incomplete if we STOP to nurture ourselves?  Why does sitting still for just a moment in time feel wrong when actually our bodies have rights - and this - this STOPPING - this breathing - it's right ...

Because sometimes we as mothers find ourselves overly consumed with doing.  Oftentimes to the neglect of our own selves.  Often to the point where we are moving day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, trying to get it all done, trying to hold it all together, giving ourselves burdens that we were not meant to bear.  After all, it takes a village.  And down time is priceless.  Sometimes we just need to be still - mind, body and soul.  Sometimes we just need to sit in silence.  Sometimes we need to just sit in peace.  Sometimes we need to say "Please be still".

But other people's judgments and unrealistic expectations reign supreme and take hold and take over.  And we always feel like we don't have time to breathe because there is too much work to be done.  And we own it all by any means necessary.  Even if it causes us pain, we own it all.  Even if it means that our muscles are permanently contracted, we own it all.  To the extent that we have to learn to let go and breathe again.  An act that was once natural, innate, automatic and unconscious now becomes another task on our to-do list - something else that we have to learn, something else that we have to facilitate and regulate - another chore.  Another battle that we have to endure that we may or may not win.  ENOUGH!  Breathe.  Relax.  Relate.  Release.  And make no excuses and give no apologies for it.  You are enough.  Your job is enough and you deserve to live.  You deserve to breathe.  You do not have permission to make yourself mediocre by cutting off your own oxygen supply.  Take time for you and make no apologies.  Give yourself permission to breathe.

"But for the Grace of G-d ..."

I've got something on my heart that I need to release. In my short life, I have learned that we hurt each other - with our words - our vain and idle talk, our gossip, our backbiting - constantly standing in judgement of one another. The human heart - it hurts. If you have a sincere and conscious heart, then correct, help, assist, and speak out with love and sincerity not enmity. G-d says, "Do you think you can say you believe and not be tested?" Rather than kick your brother or sister while they are down enduring the trials and tribulations that we all must one day come to endure, encourage him or her to "overcome obstacles with excellence."

My faith tradition tells me the best of us are are those who are of service, help, aid, assistance, and support to others - whether it be with a radiant smile, an uplifting and encouraging word, a kind heart, or a generous hand. Live and love in a space of ALWAYS being ready and able to show gratitude - being ready and able to re-pay your debt to G-d knowing ... but for the Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness & Protection of G-d, there go I ...

Just speaking from the heart and praying that my own words resonate within my own soul.

AMEEN - G'd is with those who Believe, have Faith and put their complete Trust in Him.

Record the Story ...

Be Not Afraid - To Put Yourself First

Imagine being a fire woman and getting a call to the station that a fire is burning with a family inside - a mom, a dad and 2 children. Your first thought is to make the selfless decision to get to the fire as fast as you can to save this family. In order to save time and to make this rescue happen as quickly as possible, you make the conscious decision to enter the burning fire to save their lives with no protective gear, no gas mask, nothing that is fire retardant, nothing that repels or protects your body from being burned by the flames. You selflessly leave the station as quickly as possible, not taking the time to "gear-up", risking yourself and your life to save the lives of others.

This is the equivalent of being a mom who selflessly sacrifices herself for the sake of her kids and family. A woman who gives and gives to the point of neglecting herself does so with the BEST intentions - to provide the best love, support, education, comfort and nourishment that her children and family need. She somehow feels empowered when she feels that she is sacrificing her needs, wants and desires so that her children and family can flourish and have their needs met. However, just as the above scenario indicates, in all likelihood at some point, the mom is going to get burned or rather burnt-out (no pun intended).

The person entering the fire may save a few lives, but unprotected themselves, eventually they can no longer withstand the harsh conditions and may possibly suffocate from smoke inhalation, get burned, or be unable to save themselves and the lives of others. A mother who gives endlessly without giving to self as well, will eventually suffer from exhaustion, lack of optimal health and happiness and possibly anger, depression and resentment.

Had the person who entered the fire taken a few moments to protect themselves first, the outcome may have been different. They may have had the protection needed to save 2 lives instead of 1, 3 lives instead of 2. They may have had the protection and endurance needed to make it out alive. In the proper gear, they could have breathed a little longer, withstood the heat and the flames a little longer because they consciously chose to protect themselves first.

Likewise, if we as mothers find balance in being selfless and selfish we too can save ourselves, our children and our families. When we consciously choose to put ourselves first (with the unspoken understanding that G-d is ALWAYS first priority in our lives), we are consciously choosing to save 2 children instead of 1, 3 children instead of 2. When we spend on our own souls/selves, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and yes even financially, we are consciously choosing and acknowledging the inherent value and power in having high quality interactions with our kids and family.

At times, moms may neglect self to focus on the quantity of time that is spent with kids and family. However, if the quantity of time is not fully embraced with quality, then we selfishly cause deterioration of invaluable relationships with ourselves, spouse, children and others. Fatigue, exhaustion, lack of patience and lack of fulfillment can creep into our lives and create a space of chaos and negativity rather than the peace, happiness, contentment and tranquility that we all seek and desire.

So I challenge all moms, myself definitely included - be not afraid to put yourself, your health and your happiness first. It may not always be the easiest thing to facilitate, but make yourself and your survival, your personal nurturing and self-fulfillment a VERY important priority in your life. Your true strength literally and figuratively, is found in your mutual selflessness and selfishness. It takes great courage and strength, for me anyways, to not feel guilty about not giving all of myself to my kids and family. (Positive self-talk: Tell yourself, I am a pretty fabulous person myself and I deserve to have a quality piece of me as well.)

Think of a rested, healthier, happier you. Imagine all the lives that you can enhance and save, including your own, when you are at your best. Rest, Recuperation, Rejuvenation - make these 3 Rs a Regular Routine in your daily life and the ripple effects will be profound. Be not afraid ...

A Mother's Conversation With Herself

"I am tired today.  My body is tired.  My back is tired.  I am tired.  I need rest.  I need sleep.  I need free time.  I need peace.  I need me.  I can feel that I am operating in superwoman mode - where you give despite having nothing left to give.

I pull from deep within and find the strength from somewhere ... from somewhere ... from somewhere deep within.

Mind over matter.  Mind over reality.

My reality says that I must heal.  My reality says that I must go deep within myself to rest, to rest to heal, to heal to rest.

The spirit within me says that I must fight for my children.  That I must  find a way to expose them to new opportunities, to new places, to new experiences despite being worn down, despite being tired, despite being physically weak.

I am mentally strong and this mental strength propels me forward despite needing to rest, despite needing to care for myself.  Despite needing to heal, despite needing new energy.  Despite needing quiet, peaceful solitude.

I am here ... listening to the drums of my ancestors, listening to the sounds of my ancestors, listening to the Heartprints of Harriet Tubman, listening to the Heartprints of Sojourner Truth, listening to the Heartprints of My Mother, listening to the Heartprints of Me."

Ameen - G-d is with those who Believe, have Faith, and put their Trust in Him.

Pain & Pressure - A Mercy

Recently, while at Friday prayer service, the Imam told the story of a little girl born with a full set of teeth and as her parents and doctors would later learn an "inability to feel pain".  One day, the girl's parents walked in to find the little girl laughing as she was biting through her finger(s).  It became very clear, as the Imam conveyed, that the ability to feel pain is definitely a Mercy.  But it is perhaps not something that many of us have contemplated or given much thought to.

As I have been reflecting on life's challenges and tests as of late, I began to think about how the pain and pressure of childbirth is a Mercy.  This pain and pressure within the woman gives birth to new life.  The new life that comes forth, the new life that is born is a Mercy.  While the pain and pressure of labor are not the most pleasant feelings in the world, they are a sign of something good to come - new life, if that is G-d's Will.  Being in the womb in the water with an unlimited source of nourishment is definitely a Mercy and protection for the baby as well.  But at some point the baby is ready to emerge forth from the veils of triple darkness into the light.  Mom's pelvic muscles go to work long before the actual date of birth.  The "mild" Braxton's hicks contractions prepare her body for the even more intense contractions of labor.  

When the baby is ready, when the baby is head down, prostrating him/herself to G-d saying "I submit and I am ready to emerge into this new world",  pain and the pressure allow "an expansion" to take place.   Eventually, the water breaks, burst forth and the painful contractions finally allow the baby to emerge into this world, crying and ready to meet, see, be touched and held by mom and dad.  The pain and pressure allow tears of happiness to flow from the eyes of the mother and the father for the blessing that is before them - new life, their seed, an expansion of themselves, their family, their future, G-d's extension of their life.

The same is true of the pains and pressures of everyday life - the pains and pressures of everyday life, while uncomfortable, give birth to new life, give birth to new ideas, give birth to a new undiscovered self, a new person.  The pains and pressures of everyday life are a Mercy.  They force us to rely more heavily upon our Faith & Belief.  They force us to rely more upon our relationships with family and friends.  They force us to feel, to be fully in touch with our emotions, to be more compassionate - to be human.  They force us to re-examine our priorities in life.  Pain and pressure educate us.  We learn - in the process of feeling pain and pressure.  Pain and pressure force us to think outside of the box.  Pain and pressure force us to create and to be creative.  Pain and pressure force us to look at our inner selves - to paint a new picture, to do some soul searching, to polish our souls, to work on ourselves and our relationship with the Creator.  

We are all part of G-d's creation.  Precious stones & gems are also a part of Mother Nature.  We have all heard the term "diamond in the rough".  

The Urban Dictionary defines "diamond in the rough" as "Someone (or something) that has hidden exceptional characteristics and/or future potential, but currently lacks the final touches that would make them (or it) truly stand out from the crowd.  The phrase is metaphorical and relates to the fact that naturally occurring diamonds are quite ordinary at first glance, and that their true beauty as jewels is only realized through the cutting and polishing process."  

Wikipedia states "most natural diamonds are formed at high-pressure high-temperature conditions existing at depths of 140 to 190 kilometers (87 to 120 mi) in the Earth's mantle".   

We are all "diamonds in the rough" full of unlimited potential and promise.  The pains and pressures of life refine, evolve, shape, mold & mature us into our "best" selves inside.  If all goes well, we emerge from the depths of darkness stronger in Faith & Belief, stronger in our convictions and principles, stronger in our desire to live and fulfill our life's purpose.  

The pains and pressures of childbirth, though some of the most excruciating in my life,  brought forth 2 of the most beautiful, precious, priceless diamonds that I possess - my daughter and my son.  For that pain and that pressure, for that Mercy, I humbly thank G-d and I will always be eternally grateful.  And if given the chance, I would do it all over again.  

My cousin posted recently on FB,  "No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It’s what you do afterwards that counts, that’s when you find out who you are."  


None of us ask for pain and pressure in our lives, but remember pain and pressure brought us all into this world.  Pain and pressure help us to find our true beauty inside - to find out who we really are and who we are meant to be.  

Do U Have a Keeper?

Peace B upon U!

A friend of mine refers to her husband as a keeper.

Ladies, do u have a keeper? Many times in marriage we are faced with various challenges with our mates. At times we feel like we are the only ones that are "going through". Throw kids into the mix and the challenges become even more complicated. So, how do you know if you have a keeper? In a recent interview with Oprah, our first lady, Michelle Obama, AKA - "our girl" Michelle (because she always keeps it real) states ... "Barack is a human being with flaws. And I can rattle down all the flaws and tease him about them everyday, but those flaws are not fundamental. They don't hit upon things that are intolerable to me. In terms of his core values, he has never disappointed me. He is a very consistent person - which is why I knew unequivocally that he would be a phenomenal president. He is steady. Has he made me mad? Yes. Does he sometimes do things that I don't like? Absolutely." Oprah responds, "That's called marriage." And Michelle so eloquently continues, "But as a human being, he has never disappointed. And I would hope he could say the same about me..." BEAUTIFUL is all I can say. Can I say simple, but yet so profound? They just keep it real ... they confirm that they are human just like us...they give us hope beyond hope. They confirm why G-d has placed them in the White House as role models for all the worlds to see and emulate - for all of humanity. So, if ever you are in the heat of the moment and you are a little frustrated with the challenges that marriage can sometimes bring, ask yourself - "Has he ever disappointed me as a human person? Am I perfect?" If the answer is no which I assume it will be (SMILE), then ask yourself, "Are his flaws fundamental?" If the answer is still no, then remind yourself that you have a keeper.

Are U ready?

Peace B Upon U,

Let me first say that my heart goes out to the family of Brother Ali Khan from Washington, D.C. I sincerely pray that the community near and far will envelope the Khan family with peace, love, & compassion at this time. We pray that G-d's Everlasting Peace, Love, Mercy, & Compassion will be with the family now and always.

As I think and reflect, I am reminded of the funeral of my beloved Grandmother. What comforted me most the day of her funeral was the question posed by the minister conducting the service. He said, "Mattie Mae was ready. Are you ready?" As a rising senior in college, this question was unexpected and thought provoking for me at the time. It was a beautfiul reminder of the wonderful person that my grandmother is in her words and deeds. She is a beautiful, gentle, peaceful, loving spirit & soul. I speak in the present because the body dies, but the soul lives on. I pray that G-d grant her Mercy, Peace, & Forgiveness & entrance into the next paradise.

With the unexpected passing of a dear beloved brother in our community and the recent unexpected passing of my dear, beloved leader Imam W.D. Mohammed in 2008, I am sure that we are all left to ask ourselves, "Are we ready?" In a recent Arabic class, it was explained that when we offer Janazah prayers, we "stand" in honor of the works done by the deceased because "standing" represents establishment. Likewise, even though we may physically die and we cannot literally speak, our works/what we establish in the world should "stand" and "speak" for us.

Scripture says, "To the righteous soul will be said 'Oh soul in complete rest and satisfaction! Return to your Lord, pleased (with self) and pleasing to Him. Enter among my workers. Enter My Paradise.'" (The Glorious Qur'an 89:27-30)

So, I ask ... Are our souls already in a state of having returned to our Lord before our physical bodies perish and can no longer perform acts of service - before our physical bodies are no longer here to stand up for and establish something for humanity? Have we already entered among G-d's Workers? Have our prodcutive actions allowed us to enter into a state of Peace & Paradise in this life?